…Don’t do all the easy ones first! Start with the gorilla in the room. Once you’ve removed your greatest obstacle changing the others will feel like a walk in the park…
Army times are now past.
Fortunately, I haven’t had hard time while in the army. But anyway it made me notice that “army” is an important experience of a guy’s life.
I had a lot of time for tea and for thinking about many this and for having memories…
And after a long time absence, I’m now back to try to write again.
Just two words, enough to break a heart that loves you
And then it’s nonsense that you write novels;
Just two steps, you are on the side of “single”ness,
And then it’s useless to climb up the hills.(quoted and translated from a Turkish song Sonbahar by Halil Sezai)
We have a community around us consisting of our family, our close friends and some other acquaintances. And they are all what make us continue our lives anyway. But they are also the factors that sometimes can cause great emotional hardships on us.
You know the stuff of friendship for example. We meet friends, spend time with them, make jokes to them or have quarrels with them and so on. But when it comes to having a quarrel equal to a psychological battle, it destroys our spirits and leave us thinking “what the hell you did to make them hurt you that much?!”.
Heyy wait! Yes I know quarrels are part of life but at least we can be careful about what we are saying during a discussion if the situation is not that bad in fact. But if we do not care what we are saying during a discussion we cannot have anything to do anymore after the quarrel is over. Because everyhing has already happened and you have already hurt the one that you have just shot with your words. So after that it makes nonsense even if you write “apologize letters” or “novels that tells about your excuses for those harsh words”.
And one more point; sometimes a quarrel may give an end to a relationship of lovers. If the guy or girl has to break up for some reasons this break-up should be done in an understanding and non-hurting way, not by using bad words to try to push him/her away. Because break-up is the easiest way like walking to the other room by taking a few steps. But then there is no way back like when you find nothing when you climb up the mountain.
- “You choose your actions, not the consequences” (mybookofstories.wordpress.com)
“Self-worth, some witty intelligence and a lil courage or self-confidence… These make a human being human. So it seems I’m not a complete human being” 😀
I thought about myself a few days ago and revised my features, particular characteristics, what’s missing in my personality, the degree of self-esteem I have, my experiences and some other stuff…
I concluded that I cannot be a human being or something like that. I think I have no features of a normal person. Or I’m supposed to be half-human a bit different from the ordinary people (Maybe it is because I want to be a rebel being different from the usual ones, or because of the experiences that occurred throughout in my life that somehow affects my personality). Haha I’m just trying to be kidding 😉
THE WEIRD SIDE
There are many examples that prove I’m an abnormal being (but this does not mean that I’m not a matter ‘cuz I occupy space and possess rest mass 😀 ).
Me vs. Food
I would like to start with my eating habits; I’m sure you will call me “what a weird guy you are” when you learn what are among those I eat. For example; like many of the people, I do not eat meat. But this is not the point. In addition to meat, I hate eating chicken and fish. And moreover (and the most weird point), I’m not a vegetarian or a semi-vegetarian because I like to eat some products of meat or chicken (i.e., burger, sausage, salami). And the reason why i’m not a vegetarian is that I feel like vomiting when I try to eat many types of vegetables such as onions, spinach, peppers, aubergines, cabbage or garlic and etc. and etc…
Writing Without Any (or much) Reading
Secondly; you know I say I’m here to write some pieces of writing similar to poemic lines or short articles. But to be honest, I (almost) never or rarely read poems or novels in my daily life. I feel so bored when I read them and in fact I cannot read long ones because I have probs with my eye(sight), which makes my eyes super-tired and super-hurt. But I never call ‘reading’ as “bad or weird or shitty”. I just want to draw your attention to the fact that I write even without any or much reading.
Thirdly; I can call myself “a musicmania that try to listen to all kinds of music if the sound is of good quality that makes me feel like flying around the “world of ideas”. But I’m not a (real) fan of a certain singer or musicmaker. I never feel dying for a male singer’s posters or have never fell for or never put on my room’s walls the pictures of a female singer. Though, I feel relaxing when singing or playing music (by the way I must confess that I play two instruments and now on my way to trying the third and next fourth one; playing instruments makes me feel better like when I’m singing). But I do it just for myself; I never prefer to play or sing in front of others because I just do these two only to happy myself, not others. That’s why I did not want to be a singer even though all people around me insisted that I should (I have never considered my voice good enough to sing to the millions hahaha.
An Asocial Sociableness
Also let me talk about my social side. I’m not that social indeed. But I’m still surprised that I have lots of faithful friends around me. I’m an awkward person when I’m new in a community. But I’m, anyway, a faithful friend that can succeed at long-lasting friendships. So do you think it will be appropriate to call myself “an asocial sociable guy” ?
Academical Conflicts and The Present Time
Additionally; the last and the most important point or milestone in my life is the major I studied at university. My teachers suggested me that I study English so I chose to study on it because I was good at English in primary and high school. I still love being interested in languages (I even try to learn Spanish , but I’m not getting along with it well 🙂 ) but the problem I want to point out is that I studied English Language and Literature at university even though I was really bad at and always fail the literature classes in high school. But I had to study the literature because of our educational system that forces us to have exams to study at university. I just could have a mark to study literature although I wanted to study English Language Teaching. This was a contradictory in my life as well. But I’m happy for this because my major helped me improve my point of view to the life as well as the events/situations and it made it easier for me to know the people well.
At the present time, I’m a jobless teacher (or would it be better not to say I’m a teacher because I’m not in the action of teaching in real?). Anyway! Whatever is on my way to stop me, I really want to do my job even though I think that “LEARNING IS A DEAL WHILE TEACHING CAN SOMETIMES BE NOTHING BUT A HEADACHE“.
Don’t care much about that I wrote a post with a topic saying that I’m not human. And hey wait! Now you can already notice that the saying that I invented and that is located at the beginning of this post makes nonsense because there is no rule that all human beings have to possess all those four features in their personalities.
I AM COMPLETELY HUMAN, but just with some differences from all other people as all (approx.) 7 billions of people are distinguished from one another; that is to say, each individual is idiosyncratic, not being exactly similar to all other 6.999.999.